When I think about my younger days, I think of the 10,000 Maniacs song, "These are the days".
She talks about being "touched by something" and being "blessed and lucky". Well thats how I'm feeling these days.
I live a lot in the past. I had a really great childhood, despite a lot of issues with my mother. My father was beyond wonderful. He and I were best friends. I didn't know what it was to have a mother, but I had a Daddy x 10, which was ALL I needed. I had a great childhood,high school life, then on to college. Obviously, there was an innocence with my youth, that I will never get back. Something happened when Daddy died,I was 22. I think deep down, I thought life would never be that good again. I would never know that amount of love again. I have to admit, I was wrong. Its different, but I have that amount of love in my life, and I feel so blessed to have it. I do look back on the past now with a smile and a wink. I have day dreams and night dreams of what was. I love the past because it was happy, but better yet, I have come to know that it shaped who I am today. My aunt and I were talking the other evening, and she was asking where did I get my identity of myself. Took awhile to figure it out, but I think whole heartedly, I got it from my Daddy.
On this weekend, that commemorates the Daddy's of the world, I remember with a full heart how utterly wonderful my Daddy was, and hopefully, part of him will live on inside me. I can still hear his laughter, I wish I could still feel his hugs around me. I pray that one day, Angel will know what it is to be a Daddy, and I pray that our child cherishes that relationship as much as I did with my Daddy.
I also have to give a big shout out to the Braces Bunch that sent me the sweetest most encouraging little cards this week. YOU GIRLS ROCK AND ROLL! Thanks for lifting me up and keeping me going with this weight loss battle. I can't tell you what it means to know I've got pals out there rooting for me. I hope that I can lift you up in the same way, soon!
2 comments:
What a beautiful tribute to you daddy! You were a lucky girl to have him, and he was a lucky father to have you.
Your father was a wonderful man, thank you for sharing a little bit of him with the rest of us.
Oh and I totally get the living in the past thing because I do it too. I used to do it a lot more, but there are still people from my past who are no longer with me and I love reliving my time with them through my memories and daydreams.
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