Isaiah 40:31

"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall walk and not be weary, they shall run and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Sigh of relief...15 weeks

I imagine that when normal preggos go into the OB's office, its all fun and giggles. I go in apprehensively thinking,"when can I see the heartbeat or hear the heartbeat". "Shuttup, I need confirmation that all is okay."
Praise the Lord, today I got that confirmation. After only 2 long weeks, I don't know how the regulars do it, I heard our Stickie's heartbeat. It was wonderful! After my progesterone got reinstated, I had some apprehension that my level had dropped too low, and something might have happened. But all seems well. I finally found out after much anguish that my second level taken 2 days after going back on the endomet..rin was 40. So I went from 14 to 40 in 2 days. No wonder I was weepy! At least I'm not losing it!
So I've got a few more weeks of the endo and I'm weaning off of metformin and my antidepressant. It was funny, OB #2 (there are 3 in the practice and I saw #2 today), she asked WHY I was on it. I said, have you ever had 5 years of infertility? She said, "Enough said." I like this straight forward attitude that this group of drs seem to have. Now, their nursing staff has a lot to be desired. I think they are totally over worked. But as far as the Drs are concerned, I feel comfy with really all 3 of them. Which is great, since I don't know who I'll get for the delivery time.
So I go back to the OB in 2 weeks. I hope that Angel can come with me this next time. He hasn't ever HEARD the heartbeat. It will be special for him, I know. He is really becomming the best father. I'm in awe watching him evolve day by day. Me, I'm still stunned that this is really happening. So much so that I can't concentrate on what really needs to be done.
Oh and because of my PCOS and Insulin Resistance, she wants to do a 1 hr GTT in a couple weeks rather than waiting for the 24 week mark. I'm fine with that. I'd like to know if there is going to be a problem. Get this under control ASAP!
Amisdt all the glory of hearing Stickie's heartbeat, I heard the lady across the hall in the ultrasound room. The walls are paper thin, and I couldn't help but over hear her sobbing. I'd seen this couple in the waiting room just moments earlier. They were so full of hope and promise. But on the ultrasound, I'm assuming their first, they didn't see a heartbeat. It really made me want to run in there and hug them both. I wanted to sob right along with her. When I got in the car, I held the steering wheel real tight, and said a sincere prayer for them. It will be a long road for them. I pray for their peace. It just reminded me that at this point, I still have a long way to go, and a lot to be thankful for.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Getting there...

I think I've finally turned a corner. I'm starting to get really happy about this lil man about to come into our lives. I find myself, even though its been 7 whole days since I've seen Sticky on an ultrasound, being okay that he's okay and that its all going well.
I got kind of a blow on Tuesday. SO let me back up a bit. I was feeling kinda blah on Saturday and Sunday, but trudged through the family like activities. They were fun, but I knew something wasn't right. I stopped my progesterone, upon drs orders, on Sunday, then was to go to have blood drawn on Tuesday to check progesterone. I knew I hadn't felt exactly "right", but I figured I'd over done it this weekend. Well sure enough, my progesterone came back after 2 days of not being on it at a whopping 14. Not horrible, but not great. So I'm thinking I'll stay on this for at least another month, if not longer. Endometrin 3 times a day, accompanied by a lovely yeast infection that I try to warn off with some who who creme, and the progesterone oral pills three times a day as well. I know the progesterone oral pills don't do that much good, but hey, I'd like to give it everything I've got in this. (fyi- oral progesterone metabolizes in the liver, therefore not much of it actually gets into the blood stream)
So I can't complain that much. Other than the progesterone dilemma, things seem to be going swimmingly. The nausea is manageable, as are most of the symptoms and I'm getting some of my energy back at 14 weeks one day gestation. I'm going to see the dr every two weeks for awhile. Then go to every 3 weeks, then back down again to two. She said it would be a sort of "dance".
Angel is being so wonderful. Every once in awhile, he pats my belly and smiles or giggles. But he is in Daddy overdrive! He is all about preparing, which is something that I've had problems with. I need to EASE into this, and he is going at it like fighting fire! Lets order this, do this, do that. Call this person, etc. I really want to pull his reigns, but I've also realized that this is his way of dealing with things and being a Dad. So I've got to let him do his thing, even if he's driving me nuts sometimes! All in all, its really cute. I think he's happy that I'm beginning to do more chores these days too. 10 weeks is a long time for him to do laundry and grocery shopping!
Cute story- My 5 year old great niece was so cute on Easter. She kept patting my belly and saying, "When your son gets here..." I think she is excited to have younger folks in the family now, and I'm pretty sure she's gearing up to run the show! My poor Sticky doesn't stand a chance! ;o) I can't wait to watch them grow up!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Busy bee

Hey Ya'll,
Well its been a busy few days. Going to the big city, shopping, ultrasounds, more OB's this morning. PHEW! Where am I these days?
SO the NT test went well. We got to watch Sticky for like 25 minutes. S/he was running around in there, stretching, kicking, sucking his/her thumb, etc. Too precious for words. Although we wont be able to get the actual results combined with the blood tests back for a few more days, all looks well according to the most kick butt radiologist dude I've ever met. He was awesome!
With all of Sticky's exercising in there, we got a lot of cute shots. I will have to scan some pics and show you. After all the exercises, Sticky was tired and curled up for a nap. Guess growing a gabillion cells and stuff a day is taxing for a lil wee one.
Speaking of wee one, the radiologist asked if we'd like to know the sex of the baby. I was like YEAH! I didn't even give Angel a chance to respond. He checked three different angles to be able to confirm, but its a BOY! Sticky has a GOOTER! (I have a friend of mine that calls her boy's stuff, "gooters" and I think its so funny) So now, he will definitely be named after my Daddy and his Daddy (Angel). Now we can start planning! The radiologist said that they aren't always able to see these things, but with all the acrobatics, he got good views(3) of everything and felt very confident that it was a boy.
After 3 different people have changed my due date, I'm now officially going with Oct 15. That is pretty much in the middle of all 3 days, and its not that big of a deal. I'm going to say the month of October and I think we'll be in there somewhere. But according to my OB, whom I saw today, she is officially saying that I am 13 weeks 1 day today. So instead of Sunday being my day to jump up a notch, now, its Tuesday. I can live with that. Its not an exact science anyway. I'm okay, as long as Sticky is okay.
I get to go off of my progesterone on Monday and have a blood test Wednesday to see if my placenta is making enough progesterone for me. I'll be so happy to let go of this yeast infection AND I'm really getting tired of the whoo whoo pills too. But I'll keep doing it forever if thats what it takes.
Also, OB said if we haven't had any issues with spotting or cramping in two weeks, we can revisit the idea of having relations! I'm excited about that too. So I'm crossing my fingers!

Hope everyone is well. Im horribly behind on my commenting and reading. But I'll get caught up.

Love to all!

Monday, April 6, 2009

Mild Panic

Last night, when I was doing my 3rd dose of End O_metrin of the day, the applicator came out with bright red blood, a moderate amount. Needless to say, I got lots of good rest last night... NOT!

I waited until this morning and called the OB office. Today is surgery day, wouldn't you know it, so it would take a little bit before they got back to me. (enter the Jeopardy theme)

She called back and wanted me to go to the fancy place for an ultrasound. So off I went. They worked me in, which I looked like the only person under the age of 80 in there anyway.

Good news is that Sticky is okay, but they couldn't find any cause for the bleeding. Hmmm But as long as Sticky is okay, I guess I'm okay. So here's the good part...

I heard the heartbeat for the first time. It was amazing! Then I got to see Sticky and his jazzercise routine, pretty impressive. I thought the first time we saw the routine, it was because of the cup of coffee I had that morning. But I haven't had any caffeine today, so my kid is a spaz already! I saw crunches, lunges, hokey pokey, and the cutest, spreaded out hand you ever saw. I saw on his/her right hand, 5 cutesie lil fingers. And the definition on the heart is amazing! The heartbeat is 163 beats per minute, which is awesome since this is the first time anyone has ever told me that information before. They changed my gestational age/due date again too. First, if I go by my FET time, I'm due Oct 18 and I'm 12w 1 day. Then if I go by my LMP I'm due Oct 15 and 12w 3 days. But she said I'm measuring 12w 6 days and due Oct 13. WHOA! I don't care, as long as Sticky is healthy, they can tell me whatever else. I'm just happy that the bleeding wasn't any more serious. I remember pretty early on the NP at the RE telling me that I was a couple days ahead. So we shall see...
I go to the big University hospital tomorrow for my NT test. I'm excited, Angel gets to take me. We are going to stop by the maternity store and get me some FAT PANTS. I keep saying it, but today is absolutely THE LAST DAY for regular pants. We have to go to the big city for Mommy type stores. So off we shall go. Will report on the goings on when I can.

Thursday, April 2, 2009


Grace is something I am just starting to really understand. It is like a super blessing, thats how I explain it.
I went to the OB today. Saw Sticky again, I think s/he grew about twice as much in a week's time. S/he was so sweet and cute. Its been really rainy, so everyone has pretty much been sleepy and sluggish all week. Well Sticky has too. S/he was all curled up, face forward with his/her hands curled up under his/her chin. This is becoming so real now. For the first time, I really pictured this child in my home curled up asleep. Only a little while before this dream is a reality. OB said that I'll keep coming once a week for awhile, then we'll go to 2 week intervals, then 3, then back to 2... "like a dance" she said. I'll take it. More monitoring, the better for me. Also, I go to the super big hospital and have an NT test on Tuesday. Another glimpse at our lovie. I'm so excited.
I've also been torn about telling my mother. Without going into too much detail, my mother is a sick person. She desperately needs some psychiatric attention, and refuses to get it. She is really sad. But because of the abuse that I suffered as a child and young adult, I've had to separate my life from hers. I wish her nothing but the best, however, I can't subject myself or my family to her chaos. So here is the question, I've been asking myself since day one. WHEN and HOW do I tell her I'm having a child? Can anyone imagine being 12 weeks preggo and NOT telling your Mom? Well this is such a strained relationship, I haven't seen her in almost 7 years. Haven't spoken to her in about 5.
SO for Sticky's safety and ours, we will never allow my mother to be alone with our child, under any circumstances. She is too unpredictable. Angel was the one that first set this rule, and I agreed, whole heartedly to it. But there is some part of me that when big things come up in my life, I still feel the need to honor her by telling her these things. Like when I got married. I felt God lead me to her home and just tell her. Right now, my strongest leaning is toward a birth announcement in October. That might sound harsh to some, but if everyone knew the stories, the letter would sound justified.
So this is something I'm just on the fence about. The answer will come, by God's grace it willl come. Just something weighing on my mind.