Isaiah 40:31

"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall walk and not be weary, they shall run and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Monday, March 24, 2008

Why don't we adopt

I'm going to make this one short and sweet. We haven't explored adoption, mainly from the fear that it will be just as much of an emotional roller coaster as this journey through infertility has been. I have a total fear, having witnessed this personally, that after we get attached to a child, then a biological parent would come and take them away. I have seen too many Dateline's, Primetime's, and 20/20's to know that the road to adoption is paved with uncertainty, just as much as the medical intervention road. I feel like I can navigate the IVF road better. It is more comfortable for me now. I sorta know what to expect. Adoption would be another way of opening up my heart to disappointment, does that make sense?
So I was in the ER complaining of internal abdominal pain. I had been to the dr. They told me I could get a CT scan in about 2 months. SO I said, alright and got my happy butt down to the ER. I went in early on a weekday, so I would avoid the crowds. After 4pm that day, found out they couldn't tell what the pain was. (Later I had a laparoscopy and the RE removed the endometriosis that was causing my pain, it is undetectable on a CT scan) While I was waiting to be discharged, this lady was in the next curtained area. I couldn't help but over hear her plight. She was there with abdominal pain and frequent urination. Her (what looked to be) 3 year old son was there with her. He was so peaceful and quiet, coloring in his book. Well first thing they make you do at the ER is pee in a cup. So off she went. It wasn't too much later that the Nurse came back and said, "Explain your urination problems." I wont go into detail. Then the Nurse said,"Well, is it possible that you are pregnant?" The lady denied it intensely, then said, wellllllll..... maybe. The nurse said,"You are pregnant." The lady was beside herself. She started boo hooing and carrying on. She said, no this cant be happening to me. Then she saw the doc. He told her that she should set up a prenatal appt ASAP. He referred her to a local OB/GYN. Well she said she hadnt been in the area long. She didnt want an OB, she wanted to know where she could get the quickest abortion.
Now, at this point, Im about to come up out of my skin. I wanted to jump up, and scream, PLEASE I will take your child and raise it. (Oh how I've longed to hear the words, "you are pregnant") It didnt matter one iota to me that she was of another race. All I could think about was a child, a precious angel that I've longed for is inside this woman. She didnt want him/her, but I did.
I kept quiet, we were both discharged and I've never seen her again. But it made me think about the other side of the coin. Whereas I have longed for a child and tried and tried, she slips up one time and POOF she has a child that she doesnt have the means to care for. Whereas I can look at my situation as a burden, I try not to, her burden is her ability to get pregnant easily. That day really showed me a lot about myself and seeing that other people have issues different from mine, but just as devastating.
I'm not going to sit here and tell anyone that they shouldn't have an abortion and should allow infertile couples to adopt their children. I have no right to dictate anything about another person's body. I dont believe it is the right choice for me, but I cant really say that either because I've never been in that situation. In my way of thinking, no one can tell anyone else what to do unless they have been in that EXACT situation, which is rare.
So much for a short post. :)

1 comment:

Trace said...

We actually chose domestic adoption over fertility treatments because we thought it was a sure thing (it wasn't for us). Yes, there is a lot of emotional upheaval, but now that I'm able to compare fertility stuff v. adoption I can say each has it's plusses. With adoption, you do all you paperwork and then sit and wait, but w/fertility stuff it is a 2 week emotional roller coaster combined with hormones that exacerbate everything.

Which one is worse? I really don't know. In general infertility stinks.