Tomorrow I go in for my second beta. I'm amazed I've been able to hold on for this long. It is so hard to try to be level headed after so much disappointment and anguish.
I'm not sure if its the pn vitamin or what, but I've had terrible tummy upsets for days. I've tried taking my meds on a modified schedule throughout the day, and nothing has helped. Then a friend told me that she knew a lady that had "the D word" her whole pregnancy. NICE! Boy was I thrilled to hear that. But I'll take it. Its annoying, but as long as I don't get dehydrated, I think its okay, Right?
I've had this serious craving for cottage cheese. Angel was so sweet and got me 2 whole containers of the incredibly specific type that I like. I almost cried when I saw it in the fridge last night. AND he made me one of my favorite meals, one that he doesn't particularly enjoy, Swiss Steak. It was heavenly. I haven't been able to eat a lot at one time, but lets just say I made myself miserable last night. I slept so well!!
I've got mixed emotions that ebb and flow like the tide. Some times I will allow myself to get excited about things and just say, "God's got this, let him handle it". Then other times, I snatch it back and begin to worry again. I'm guessing that I won't quit worrying until ... welll... I die! I was going to say, when they turn 18. Nope. When they graduate college? Nope. When they get married? nope. So this just teaches me the HARD WAY that I've got to learn to deal with my worry. Let it go and quit snatching it back.
I will update tomorrow with beta #2 numbers. Who knows when I will hear from them. But I'll be over here, turning blue holding my breath.