what am i thinking?

yeah, its me. I'm actually writing this and I'm going to say it out loud. here goes...

I am going to the RE in 4 days to talk about another FET with our 3 totsicles. I am beyond apprehensive. I haven't even gotten a decent list together of what to talk about with her. This is so unlike me. I have been out of the "stirrups" so long, I don't know how to go back to doing all this over again. It feels very very strange. There will be blood work, tests, meds, etc. At least this time I know what to expect. This is our last shot at a baby, we will not do IVF again. So there are a whole host of emotions to go with that statement. Hanging in there, by a thread, trying not to get all worked up but OH MY GOSH. (there's always a BUT in there)