Isaiah 40:31

"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall walk and not be weary, they shall run and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Just dawned on me...

The title of my blog is outdated. The title of my blog is also the URL. So do I keep on going with the "BEFORE there were more" thing, or now move on to something else? Its hard to say goodbye to the past.
I have 2 good friends that are going through dIUI now. They just got another negative today. It breaks my heart to think of them hurting, just as we hurt. I want to open my brain and spill out the vast amount of knowledge and azzvice about all this I can. But I think the thing thats so rough with all this is that for what I've learned about this process, you have to learn it on your own. No matter how hard I try, I can't spare them the pain that is involved in this, and it hurts. Some parts of life are just meant to be lived, whether its good or bad, you have to live through it. I think this will be true as I watch my son grow up. Im going to want to shield him from so much, but he's got to have the good with the bad experiences in life.
When I talk with my friends about their experience, I start using the jargon that IFers use and it all comes flooding back. Its not something that I can really leave behind, just something I carry with me. Im still the infertile woman that started this blog, I've just been blessed with a child.

1 comment:

Sharon said...

Hollie, you are so right. There are some things in life that, no matter how painful, just have to be lived through. Are you battling survivors guilt? I know I have, everytime one of my friends gets a BFN from IVF or GIFT I feel immensley guilty for my blessing but at the same time, it druges up all those horrible feelings from the years of failed treatment. That will never leave me. I'm still as barren today as I was a year ago, 7 years ago, the only difference now is that Ihave a child. But I will still battle the same emotinal issues I always did!