Isaiah 40:31

"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall walk and not be weary, they shall run and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Times are hard

I've been sick before, like in the bed sick. I've actually even been like in the hospital sick several times. THIS IS HARDER!

When people say, "how's the baby?" I say, "He's wonderful." Because, in fact, he is wonderful. He had a virus last week, that slowed his eating a lot, had a fever that went with it, and seriously scared us. But he bounced back, unlike his parents that felt like they had the plague. When HM got sick, so did we. We both ended up at the drs office begging for antibiotics. And two lively people turned into crumpled messes. All the while, our son, is bee bopping around doing his thing. So here comes the hard part. When I get sick, I shut down. When you are a Mom, there is no shutting down. Angel and I, up until this point, have shared the parenting responsibilities 50/50. Well after our plague, he got a stomach virus on top of that which REALLY put him out of commission. So, I've been the primary caregiver for 5 whole days. It has been brutal. I hate to think what would happen if I had a hard to deal with child. HM is so agreeable, goes and does with little effort. He needs a smile, a hug, and some food. And for this I am so grateful. But I am exhausted. Maybe it would have been different if I had prepared for this. But at this point, I'm nominating all single parents for sainthood. I can't keep going like this. Up at 4:30am, bed at 11pm. AND I am a girl that needs her sleep. HM sleeps from 8pm-6:30am (don't shoot me) but I have to prepare all of the things for him and keep some semblance of normalcy in the household.

So, I have to admit, in all honesty, I'm resenting Angel for getting sick. Is it his fault, no. Could it have been prevented, no. Am I still mad that I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off for days, with no relief in sight? YES! Mom isn't allowed to rest. Maybe it is something that happens to you when you become a Mom, a gift that God gives you to be able to keep going when your got up and go has gotten up and left. Thank you God, but can you give me an extra shot of that stuff to keep me going?

I pray that when I enter my home tonight, that I can get some rest tonight. And I also pray that all the single parents, or parents in general, get some much needed rest themselves.


Sharon said...

I really hope you had a better night and that you'reall starting to feel better!

~Jess said...

I hope things get better: I know what you mean though about the resentment...that was me on Wednesday (I'd been up most of the night with a stomach bug). I was seriously pissed that my husband got to sleep through the night AND go to work.