Dear God

This was sent to me by a friend. I needed it so very much. I hope it brings you peace as well.

DEAR GOD:
I want to thank You for what you have already done.

I am not going to wait until I see results or receive rewards; I am thanking You right now.

I am not going to wait until I feel better or things look better; I am thanking You right now.

I am not going to wait until people say they are sorry or until they stop talking about me; I am thanking You right now.

I am not going to wait until the pain in my body disappears; I am thanking You right now.

I am not going to wait until my financial situation improves; I am going to thank You right now.

I am not going to wait until I get promoted at work or until I get the job; I am going to thank You right now

I am not going to wait until I understand every experience in my life that has caused me pain or grief; I am thanking You right now.

I am not going to wait until the journey gets easier or the challenges are removed; I am thanking You right now. I am thanking You because I am alive. I am thanking You because I made it through the day's difficulties. I am thanking You because I have walked around the obstacles.

I am thanking You because I have the ability and the opportunity to do more and do better.

I'm thanking You because, FATHER, YOU haven't given up on me.

God is good, and He's good all the time. Continue to THANK God.

Blaming Myself, a smidgen

Well I found myself blaming myself for the chem preg yesterday. When we were in the mountains, vacationing after the transfer, I remember sitting at dinner on a Thursday night saying, "I think the kid likes the steak." Never imagining there was actually SOMETHING in there. Then Friday, I started bleeding. I knew it was over. I knew it wasn't right.
So I keep going over and over in my mind the events that happened post transfer. I'm kicking myself but as we were walking down the street, this whacko exercise thing caught our eye. So we went into the store to try it out. I did, not even THINKING that it would be jarring my pelvic area some. So this is where the kicking myself comes in. That was "THE Thursday". I wasn't feeling anything that I hadn't felt before being on the progesterone. I didn't feel like really anything. But it/they were in there, and I screwed it up.
Now this is where reasonable Hollie comes in. Now Hollie, you didn't screw it up. If it was meant to be it would have been. Nothing you did (this comes from the RE) caused this. Well then snippy Hollie comes back and says, "DRS DON"T KNOW EVERYTHING".
Riding the guilty wave. This too will pass...