JUMPING OFF POINT

Here I sit at the jumping off point. Wednesday is my suppression check, the day I have to write the BIG CHECK, and the day I get my reality check. Yes, I am going to subject my body to all this poking and prodding. I am going in this knowing that I will get OHSS, just to what extent, we don't know. I have a freezer full of pre-cooked goodies so all I have to do is put them in the oven. I have a pantry full of green beans and we have enough ketchup and mayonnaise to open up a small grocery.
I told a good friend of mine that I'm excited, anxious, nervous, petrified, hopeful, and ready to claw someone's eyes out for smiling at me ALL at the same time. What really scares me is that all I've been doing is the noovah ring, so this is pretty much all me. I can't blame it on the hormones yet.
I put my retrieval date into a Du.e D*ate Ca..Lculator, cmon, you know you've done it. June. June is the month. June is a good month. UH OH... here comes the butterflies in my tummy again... AAHAHAHHAAAAAAA!
I've been thinking about asking my nurse to do some sort of something different if its negative. But then there is this thing about getting those phone calls, after the first word, always "Hollie", you know what she is going to say. So do I want to know with the first word, or do I want to be totally type A and ask her to do something different? Eh, I don't think its so much the word as the tone she uses. Do I want to go down this road right now when all this is just starting. I should be the most hopeful RIGHT NOW!
Angel is working so very hard these days. I'm ready for him to chill out. But as I'm learning, we deal with things our way, they deal with things their way. So providing for the family is his way of contributing. CONTRIBUTE AWAY MY PRINCE!
So my job is to chill out, grow some eggies, eat right, exercise. And I have to remember to call tomorrow and get a massage appointment. I'm doing massage therapy this time rather than acupuncture. Didn't get much out of the acupuncture other than an hour nap. I'd rather have a nice nap and feel like a noodle afterwards!