Isaiah 40:31

"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall walk and not be weary, they shall run and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Monday, September 15, 2008

Freak OUT!!

Well they said I would either have a period or not, whatever was fine. So Mildred, as I like to call Auntee flo, arrived on Friday. Just in time for my wonderful weekend plans with Angel. When I went in on Wednesday, Nurse Practitioner (I'm going to have to come up with a really great name for her), said that if I did see Mildred, it wouldn't be that much because I had a thin endometrium. Ummmm well, lets just say, thats not so much the case.
Well I was at peace with this until I got a call this morning. I had left a message on the IVF hotline saying that I got Mildred on Friday and didn't know if they wanted to know, but thought I would call just in case. Janeane (we will call her Janeane after Janeane Garofalo because she is very DRY) the IVF nurse called. She said, okay tell me about it. Well I've not spoken this much in depth about a period, EVER! She said not to leave any details out. Mid way through the conversation, I got this sinking feeling like if I said the wrong thing, she would derail my cycle, call it a bust, and I just took my first STIM SHOT last night!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
She said, after I spilled every ounce of information I could about Mildred, that she would speak with the doc and get back with me. Possible that she would want me to take some extra estrogen or .... and I cut her off. I said I will wait to hear from you.
Just got the call. WHEW! What a relief! RE said that it is fine. We are early in stimming and that I have plenty of time to build up an endometrium, even if I bleed for another 3-4 days. I'm evidently going to stim at least 8-10 days.
So dodged a BULLET with that one! I just thought, how in the world could I be out of this cycle and only this far into it? BAFFLING!! Thank goodness all is still rolling on. I feel good about this cycle. I feel differently than I have in the past. I feel like I am more calm. Lets see how I feel in 10 days! ;) Maybe doesn't sound like it with this post, but I can actually think about other things this go around. I didn't tick tock away the evening last night waiting for my shot time to roll around. I don't feel as crappy yet either. I am on a different protocol. I am doing Lupron and Stims at the same time. Weird huh? Just trying to avoid the OHSS. I do believe that the weight loss has helped. And maybe even the push at work is helping to keep my mind off things too.
So where as I think things are horrible, 99 times out of 100 they end up being blessings. WHY do I freak out so fast? Even though I'm able to go about my daily routine better this time doesn't mean that I don't know how much this is costing us emotionally, financially, and physically. I talked to Angel briefly about the possibility that this could be negative. I asked him that on the day that we find out, if it is negative, please don't tell me we can't do it again. He reluctantly said yes to this go around. He is very worried about me and how bad I got with the OHSS. I gained so much weight and didn't urinate. He was afraid that my kidneys would shut down. That is the downfall of having an ICU Nurse as a husband. THEY SEE TOO MUCH JUNK! Everyone he'd ever seen in that situation didn't make it back. It is hard for him to see me hurting. I know he wants some resolution to this. Oh please God, Please let this be our time. Please God, keep my body safe and healthy and allow me to be the mother that you would have me to be.


Trace said...

I took Gonal and Lupron at the same time so maybe it's not that odd.

Good luck!!

JJ said...

Whew! Glad everything is OK--Im sure you were holding your breath for a while there!
Lots of prayers for you!

Patricia said...

Wow, what a little bit of extra drama thrown in there, huh? I'm glad you got the all-clear to continue.

I identify so strongly with your pleading if it is negative, please don't tell me we can't do it again. This is SO where I'm at, too. I hope with everything I have that you won't even have to face that possibility, that this will be it for you. I will keep you in my prayers about this very thing.

soapchick said...

Take some deep breaths and remember when things get crazy; STOP, DROP, and ROLL!! Isn't that what Smoky the Bear taught us when we were kids?

Chelle said...

I, too, took lupron and stims at the same time. BUT, I hope it does the trick keeping you away from OHSS.

It is easy to freak out after having to deal with a crappy hand. BUT, we're all here to listen. I hope this is THE cycle for you!