Baby in a box

I got my meds yesterday. I had them sent to work since I was worried about them getting hot sitting outside at the house AND my lovely dog Daisy that has been on a chewing spree. Makes me shudder to think what might have happened. Well my student saw on the outside, "REFRIGERATE" so she opened the box and put the stuff in the refrigerator, just like she has been told to do. I get back from lunch and she was looking at me a bit funny. So I spilled the beans and said "I guess you figured out our little secret". She was sweet and played dumb, but who could avoid the giant letters INSERT VA.G. InALLY ONLY. Also all the scripts had my name on them. But I was very vague. She was sweet about it and left it alone. I was thankful for that.
I was on my way home with my box sitting on the seat next to me. I started thinking about all the possibilities these meds could represent. They could possibly make me so sick, I would have to go back to the hospital. (can ya'll tell I'm scared to death of this? 5 days of hospitilization with OHSS is NO FUN) Or best case scenario, they could provide the answers to our dreams of having a child of our own. I dreamed about my "baby in a box" the rest of the way home. I chose to think of a positive side, instead of a negative.
Today I had my supression check. All was well. Good ole polycystic ovaries with nothing else to really outstanding. Nothing to keep me from proceeding. I have to admit, it seemed more real today. I wrote the big check. I don't part with money well. But reconcilled it within myself before even leaving the parking lot.
Then I got to work. My boss knows of all of our struggles. She has been amazingly supportive. I've been asking and telling her all about this for months now saying this is the time we are going to do this in hopes that we can prepare things for when I will be gone. I got all sort of upset when she dropped several bombs on me about things that needed to be done, and NOW. I have been in a tizzy all day. I've just now calmed down after accomplishing a ton this afternoon and just decided not to get in a huff, I'll just take it day by day and do my best. I say that now, but wait until I'm all pumped up on stims!!
Just trying TRYING TRYING to keep positive and keep going. Thanks to all that comment. On yesterday's post, it might not have been clear. But I have tried to prepare things at the house (like a full pantry) so that if I don't feel like going to the grocery, I don't have to go. But just to clarify, mayonnaise is a very important staple in our household!