Just dawned on me...

The title of my blog is outdated. The title of my blog is also the URL. So do I keep on going with the "BEFORE there were more" thing, or now move on to something else? Its hard to say goodbye to the past.
I have 2 good friends that are going through dIUI now. They just got another negative today. It breaks my heart to think of them hurting, just as we hurt. I want to open my brain and spill out the vast amount of knowledge and azzvice about all this I can. But I think the thing thats so rough with all this is that for what I've learned about this process, you have to learn it on your own. No matter how hard I try, I can't spare them the pain that is involved in this, and it hurts. Some parts of life are just meant to be lived, whether its good or bad, you have to live through it. I think this will be true as I watch my son grow up. Im going to want to shield him from so much, but he's got to have the good with the bad experiences in life.
When I talk with my friends about their experience, I start using the jargon that IFers use and it all comes flooding back. Its not something that I can really leave behind, just something I carry with me. Im still the infertile woman that started this blog, I've just been blessed with a child.

Life and Hospitalization

Hey Gang,
Quick note, I think my account was hacked. But I think its okay now... we shall see. Just getting back to my reader, getting ALL my subscriptions back in order.
HM is doing well. Since my last post, 2 months ago, we've had various colds and our first GI bug over Easter weekend. That I got and it just wasn't pretty at our household. HM ended up going to the hospital for fluids for a few days. His eating has picked back up and Im hoping to have some smooth days ahead. I keep seeing everyone's cute Easter pics, but alas, for my child's first Easter, I have none. NO pictures of the "antenna" IV line hanging out of his head, too painful to remember. Im pretty sad about it all. SO Im hoping that I can at least get some good spring type pictures in the next few gorgeous days outside in his new outfit.
HM is now 6 months old, taking over the household. He is pulling up from a sitting to standing position. He does this about 1000 times a day. He is so proud of this accomplishment. He hates being on his tummy or his back, so standing and sitting are good positions. I believe he will walk before crawling. If I put him on his tummy, he flips over every time. Just not interested.
Thats all for now. Hopefully, I'll have some good pictures to post soon.

Transition to crib

We are doing better after last week's plague, thank goodness. Now on to bigger and better obstacles.
Since HM was born, he has slept in his swing. Not actually swinging, but just upright. When we put him in his bassinette in the hospital, he hated it from the get go. The nurse told us he had reflux and propped the bassinette up a bit, which helped, but he still hated it. So when we got home, we found out AH HA! The swing works great!
Now we are 4 1/2 months down the road and our lil man is growing out of the swing. We'd been noticing that he was increasingly uncomfortable in the swing, and finally got to where he'd put his feet on the bottom and push. So, listening to our child and dreading what we were going to hear, we decided to bite the bullet and transition him to the crib.
It hasn't been as bad as we thought it was going to be. HOWEVER, we are still dealing with him holding his legs up. He holds them up all crumpled close to his chest. Then when he relaxes, he wakes up. Then he starts rocking back and forth, accompanied by some agitated sputtering which escalates to screaming if you aren't fast enough. So we swaddle. He loved swaddling when he was born-2 months old. Then, I guess we didn't have the need and discontinued it. So now, we swaddle him to avoid the leg chain reaction, but it still happens. So my lil guy that was sleeping so well throughout the night for about 6 weeks is now NOT SLEEPING as soundly. I thought we were smooth sailing. I was pinching myself that we'd made it. NOT SO FAST, MOM!

So any and all advice about this issue is appreciated as we navigate this latest adventure in parenthood. Last night, his uncomfortableness was compounded by the fact that he had to have 2 shots. But my 18week old weighs in at 15 pounds and 25 inches. He is in the 50th percentile for height, weight, and head circumference. My lil textbook baby! And he is eating bananas, avocados, butternut squash, and cereal now. All in all, this journey is joyous!

Times are hard

I've been sick before, like in the bed sick. I've actually even been like in the hospital sick several times. THIS IS HARDER!

When people say, "how's the baby?" I say, "He's wonderful." Because, in fact, he is wonderful. He had a virus last week, that slowed his eating a lot, had a fever that went with it, and seriously scared us. But he bounced back, unlike his parents that felt like they had the plague. When HM got sick, so did we. We both ended up at the drs office begging for antibiotics. And two lively people turned into crumpled messes. All the while, our son, is bee bopping around doing his thing. So here comes the hard part. When I get sick, I shut down. When you are a Mom, there is no shutting down. Angel and I, up until this point, have shared the parenting responsibilities 50/50. Well after our plague, he got a stomach virus on top of that which REALLY put him out of commission. So, I've been the primary caregiver for 5 whole days. It has been brutal. I hate to think what would happen if I had a hard to deal with child. HM is so agreeable, goes and does with little effort. He needs a smile, a hug, and some food. And for this I am so grateful. But I am exhausted. Maybe it would have been different if I had prepared for this. But at this point, I'm nominating all single parents for sainthood. I can't keep going like this. Up at 4:30am, bed at 11pm. AND I am a girl that needs her sleep. HM sleeps from 8pm-6:30am (don't shoot me) but I have to prepare all of the things for him and keep some semblance of normalcy in the household.

So, I have to admit, in all honesty, I'm resenting Angel for getting sick. Is it his fault, no. Could it have been prevented, no. Am I still mad that I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off for days, with no relief in sight? YES! Mom isn't allowed to rest. Maybe it is something that happens to you when you become a Mom, a gift that God gives you to be able to keep going when your got up and go has gotten up and left. Thank you God, but can you give me an extra shot of that stuff to keep me going?

I pray that when I enter my home tonight, that I can get some rest tonight. And I also pray that all the single parents, or parents in general, get some much needed rest themselves.

Some Pics!!